Me: Who's a good boy?

Dog: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Me: YOU'RE A GOOD BOY!

Dog: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:

*Man walks into a store and finds employee*

Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!

Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?

Man: I never filled out an application.

Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.

Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!

Employee: Well, but that doesn't-

Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!

Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.

Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!

Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?

Man: Well no, but what does that matter?

Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.

Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.

Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.

Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.

Employee:

Man:

Employee:

Man: Fuck you, slut.

ave-aria:

borl2008:

Yup

okay, storytime. At a group sleepover, there’s this girl, the most innocent thing you’ve ever met, k? She nods off on the couch early on in the night. As everyone’s getting ready to play cards, one of my friends lean back and hears her mumbling in her sleep.

My friend motions for everyone to be quiet. The girl snuggles her blanket, smiles, and in the sweetest voice, says, “Go on, Brandon. You can jump. It’s only 30 stories.”

(Source: best-of-memes, via jack-barabangme)

iwishihadafather:

BAREFOOT IN THE BATHROOM I REPEAT BAREFOOT IN THE BATHROOM HE IS BAREFOOT IN THIS BATHROOM THIS IS A CVS NOT A BEACH NOT YOUR HOUSE PEOPLE HAVE PISSED ON THIS FLOOR AND JESUS HAS DIED FOR YOUR SINS AND NOT SO YOU CAN BE BAREFOOT IN THIS BATHROOM

iwishihadafather:

BAREFOOT IN THE BATHROOM I REPEAT BAREFOOT IN THE BATHROOM HE IS BAREFOOT IN THIS BATHROOM THIS IS A CVS NOT A BEACH NOT YOUR HOUSE PEOPLE HAVE PISSED ON THIS FLOOR AND JESUS HAS DIED FOR YOUR SINS AND NOT SO YOU CAN BE BAREFOOT IN THIS BATHROOM

(via bastille)

damittromney:

thelustedwanderer:

helyon:

daemontool:

straight people are terrifying they can go as far as to give the girl skeleton a pair of bone titties to indicate its a straight relationship

Oh my razzling dazzling god

Actually, the skeleton with bone boobs is a male skeleton. From what I can see, the pelvic inlet is too narrow to be female, and the pubic arch is far too V shaped to be female. So this is scientifically two male skeletons.

the straights have been foiled again

damittromney:

thelustedwanderer:

helyon:

daemontool:

straight people are terrifying they can go as far as to give the girl skeleton a pair of bone titties to indicate its a straight relationship

Oh my razzling dazzling god

Actually, the skeleton with bone boobs is a male skeleton. From what I can see, the pelvic inlet is too narrow to be female, and the pubic arch is far too V shaped to be female. So this is scientifically two male skeletons.

the straights have been foiled again

(via spaghettihos)